My name is Xiaoyan. In this fast-paced city, I’m as busy as a little top every day. I work as a copywriter and planner in an advertising company. Working overtime is a common occurrence for me. My life goes on in an orderly manner until he, Yuxuan, shows up.
Yuxuan is the person in charge of our company’s new cooperation project. When we first met, he was wearing a simple white shirt and his eyes were curved when he smiled, as if stars were hidden. It immediately touched my heart. Later, as we got to know each other more and more through work, we began to get to know each other better. We talked about work, life, and even shared the funny things from our childhood. Gradually, that feeling of being moved became stronger and stronger. I know. I have fallen in love with him.
After realizing my feelings, I felt like a little rabbit in my heart, both excited and nervous. Every time I saw him, my face would turn red uncontrollably and I would stammer when speaking. I thought I had hidden it well, but my best friend saw through it at a glance. She smiled and teased me, “Xiaoyan, your little thoughts are all written on your face. If you like him, be brave and pursue him. These days, only by taking the initiative can you get the candy.” Encouraged by my best friend like this, I decided to gather my courage and take the first step.
That day, I dressed up carefully and bought the coffee that Yuxuan loved the most. I walked up to him, my voice trembling a little with nervousness: “Yuxuan, here’s the coffee for you. Thank you for your help with my work.” He took the coffee and said with a smile, “Why thank you? We’re colleagues. It’s what we should do.” Looking at his smile, I got carried away and confessed directly: “Yuxuan, actually, I…” I have liked you for a long time. Having said that, I lowered my head, my heart pounding as if it were about to leap out, not daring to look at his expression.
After a long while, Yuxuan slowly spoke up, “Xiaoyan, you are very cute and excellent, but I think we should focus on work for now. Let’s talk about our relationship later.” Hearing this, my heart felt as if it had fallen into an ice cellar, and I was extremely uncomfortable. But I still pretended to be calm and forced a smile, saying, “Yes, okay, I understand.”
I thought that after the failed confession, our relationship would become awkward. But Yuxuan acted as if nothing had happened. He still communicated with me normally at work and sometimes even cracked jokes. This left me a bit confused. A glimmer of hope flared up in my heart: Does he have feelings for me too, but just isn’t ready yet? In this way, I continued to spend time with him amid confusion and anticipation.
Once, the company organized a team-building activity. Everyone went camping by the seaside. In the evening, a group of people played games around a fire. The loser had to choose Truth or Dare. Unfortunately, Yuxuan lost. Everyone started to tease him to choose Truth or Dare. Someone asked with a mischievous smile, “Yuxuan, do you have someone you like?” My heart leapt into my throat at once. I stared at him intently. Yu Xuan scratched his head and said with a smile, “Yes, there is.” Hearing this answer, my heart instantly turned half cold, but I still couldn’t help asking, “Who is it?” Yuxuan glanced at me but said nothing, just smiled. This glance made me even more confused. What did he mean by that? Is it really me who you like?
After the team-building activity, my doubts grew deeper and deeper, and I became completely absent-minded. Seeing me like this, my best friend said in frustration, “Xiaoyan, can’t you achieve something? Just go and ask clearly. Aren’t you tired of guessing like this?” ” After being scolded like this by my best friend, I decided to talk to Yu Xuan and make things clear.
I invited Yu Xuan to meet at the coffee shop downstairs of the company. After we met, I took a deep breath and gathered my courage to say, “Yu Xuan, I don’t want to get along so ambiguously anymore. That day you said you had someone you liked. Was it really me?” If not, we’ll keep our distance from each other in the future. I don’t want to torture myself like this anymore. Yuxuan was silent for a while and then said slowly, “Xiaoyan, actually I’m also very conflicted. I have a good impression of you, but I’m not sure if this good impression is love. I’m afraid that if I start it rashly, I might end up hurting you.”
Hearing his words, I felt a mixture of emotions in my heart. Knowing that he had a good impression of me made me a little happy. His ambiguous attitude made me feel helpless again. I didn’t know how to respond to him and just watched him quietly.
After leaving the coffee shop, I walked on the street, my mind in a complete mess. This relationship was like a mist, and I lost my way inside, not knowing whether to keep going or turn around and leave. In the midst of confusion and bewilderment, the confusion of this love was like a huge stone weighing on my heart, making it hard for me to breathe. How should I walk the road ahead? I’m really so confused…