Xiaoyan and I met in the university library. That day, I was in a hurry to find a book related to my major, but I found it was nowhere to be found on the bookshelf. I was scratching my head in worry when she gently patted my shoulder, held the book I was looking for, and said with a smile, “You must be looking for this one. I just returned it.” Just such a simple act, a smile, my heart felt as if it had been hit by something, and the gears of fate began to turn quietly.
Later on, our interactions became more and more frequent. We would spend time in the library together and discuss the contents of books. Gradually, we got to know each other better. Eventually, it was only natural that we ended up together. The love at that time was truly simple and beautiful. We would hold hands and walk along the lake on campus in the evening, watching the setting sun dye the lake water orange-red. We would cheer each other up during the exam week and stay up late together to review. On anniversaries, she would carefully prepare little surprises for each other. I remember once on my birthday, she made a photo album for me by hand. It was filled with every little moment we spent together. Next to each photo, she wrote down her feelings about that experience. At that time, I thought that I must treat this girl well for the rest of my life.
Good times always pass too quickly. As graduation approaches, the pressure of reality weighs down on me like a huge mountain. My home is in a small city in the north. My parents have always hoped that I could go back and find a stable job closer to them. Xiaoyan is from the south. Her family also hopes that she can stay in the south to develop her career, and it would be best if she could get into a large enterprise. We began to have differences over our future plans. Every time we talked about this topic, the atmosphere would become very depressing. From the initial calm discussion, we couldn’t help but quarrel later.
“I really don’t want to leave my family. My parents only have me as their daughter and they are getting old.” ” Xiaoyan said to me with tears in her eyes. “But my parents are the same. Besides, I’m a stranger here. If I go back, I’ll have more resources, which will also be helpful for my career development.” ” I’m also very helpless. On one side is love, on the other is family affection and the future development. I really don’t know how to choose.
We still couldn’t resist the impact of reality. On a drizzling evening, we broke up by the lake where we used to date frequently. The raindrops hit our faces, mixed with tears. That heart-wrenching feeling is still unforgettable to me to this day. “Perhaps we were really not meant to be together.” ” Xiaoyan choked up and said, then turned and left. At that moment, it felt as if my world had collapsed.
After the breakup, I lived in a daze. Back in my hometown, I found a relatively stable job and went to and from work as usual every day. But my heart was always empty. Whenever I saw something related to her or heard the songs we used to listen to together, I couldn’t help but think of her. A few times, I almost couldn’t help but call her to ask if she was doing well. But in the end, I held back.
About a year and a half later, one day I saw Xiaoyan’s update online. She posted a photo of herself with a boy, with the caption “Please take care of me for the rest of my life.” The moment I saw that photo, my heart still gave a sudden jolt. Although I knew we couldn’t go back, seeing her have new happiness still made my heart ache. But at the same time, I’m also truly happy for her and hope she will always be happy.
That relationship has been around for a long time. Occasionally when I recall it, I still feel regretful. We once loved each other so much, but due to practical reasons, we had to part ways. However, I also understand that life is like this, full of all kinds of helplessness and regrets. Deep love but shallow fate might also be a different kind of experience. It taught me to grow up and made me cherish everything I have now even more.